Rip Stop
How To Save Your Marriage Without All The Talking
This is going to sound totally illogical at first, but stop and consider whether the way to ultimately save your marriage is to just stop talking to one another as often. Most assume that they need to talk as often as possible if they want to work things out, but the way they end up talking can lead to more harm than good.
In most cases, a couple going through a stormy period of marriage will end up sitting with a couple’s therapist in attempt to work out the problems. At first it is often tense and having to sit there and listen to the other person’s gripes and grumbles is very aggravating. Yet in the end, some will be able to find common ground and come out okay. Others will turn their sessions into shouting matches that eventually lead to a divorce.
Are you wondering how you can end up one of the former, rather than the latter?
If you think it’s the skill of the therapist that makes the difference, you are wrong. It’s the listening skills of the couple that make the difference here. Truthfully, it is not the talking that fixes the problems! Couples that use talk therapy successfully are the ones that truly listen to one another and then take action every single day afterward to make things better.
The key is listening, not talking. Couples therapists can be a great tool, as long as you use them in the right way. Two people staring bitterly at the floor, breath sucked in tight, waiting for their turn to spill all the dirt and get even with the other person, will likely never work anything out. You have to actually listen to one another.
The recipe for success is a short period of open, honest, attack-free discussion where both people are allowed to state the issues as they see it without worry of attack or revenge. If you really listen to one another and then take deliberate action to start fixing the issues, you may really be able to save the relationship.
The key is to go away from a talk session really having heard what the other person said, valuing their opinions and feelings, and ready to take action to make things better. Most couples do not need to spend long lengths of time in a therapist’s office or screaming at one another at home. They just need one big honest heart-to-heart and a committed attitude to at least try something every single day afterward to make things better.
If you really want to save your marriage, then realize that action counts more than words. When it comes down to rekindling a flame or letting it snuff out, what you do counts much more than what you say.
Find out more: Save Marriage or how to get ex girlfriend back or Save Marriage From Divorce
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